Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Randomize
