you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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