I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
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