do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
I'm jealous of your bromance
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
