I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Randomize
