; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
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