She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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