was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
