If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
