i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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