Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
