i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
