I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
accomplished twins. life is a go
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
