I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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