similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Randomize
