Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
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