and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
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