Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
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