so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Randomize
