apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
