So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Randomize
