So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
