So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
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