apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
Randomize
