dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
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