oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
