So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
operation have a gay friend backfired
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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