By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
