How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
i believe in u and ur pee
I smell like Dick and happiness
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
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