I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
If its not for food we ain't going out.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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