The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
