it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
Randomize
