I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
Please don't give away my fajitas
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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