I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
