I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Randomize
