i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
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