I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
Randomize
