She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
operation harelip BJ is a go
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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