I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
Randomize
