The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight