just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
Randomize
