Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
I have a yeast infection.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
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I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
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It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.