Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
These Are The 21 Strangest Sexual Fantasy Confessions
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
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I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.