I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
These People Are The Epitome of Lazy
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Disturbing Scenes People Witnessed As Children
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh