nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
