I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
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