Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
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