I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
She bit a glass in half.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
jump out the window naked night went bad
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