I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
