Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
Randomize
