We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Randomize
