I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
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