I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
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