I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
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