i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize
