I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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