is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
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