Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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