I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
I need a burrito and a hug.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
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