toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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