bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
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