Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
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