I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
3 2 1 whiskey
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
I just forgot I was standing up.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
my liver is dry heaving
Randomize
